Why We Homeschool.....

I have to admit that I had never heard of homeschooling other than my aunt and uncle homeschooling my cousin in Oregon. I was young and it seemed such a foreign thing to me. I really didn't know what exactly it meant to homeschool and since we lived in NC I didn't get to "see" them homeschooling. I really didn't think much about it until we had our first child. I knew early on that I wanted to homeschool. At that time I really didn't have a reason other than it just seemed something deep within me that I felt the need to do.  I remember being very nervous to discuss it with my husband because again we didn't know anyone else that homeschooled. I recall that we were eating at Pizza Hut one day and I broached the subject with him. His response was sounds good and he's been on board ever since.

I remember that it was an adjustment in the friendship department because all of my friends at the time were sending their kids to public schools. It wasn't that they weren't supportive that I wanted to homeschool, but they didn't really understand. I think it was the mindset if public school was good enough for their children why wasn't it good enough for mine? It honestly wasn't that it wasn't good enough, but that I wanted something different. I know many homeschool because of issues they had in school, but I honestly felt that I had a good public school experience.  For the most part I had great teachers, did well in school and had friends.

When we started homeschooling I had NO idea all the information or choices that were out there. In some ways I think that was good because even now all the information can be hard for me to not flip flop around about what is best.  We lived in Ca at the time and used a Charter School. I know many don't like any type of government involvement, but I really liked our experience.  The kids were able to attend classes that we couldn't have otherwise afforded.  We also had access to materials that we couldn't have otherwise afforded.  When we moved to NC we didn't have that same option, so it was like starting over.  We have graduated one child, have a daughter that is a sophomore and a son that is in 5th grade.  I probably have more reasons to homeschool now than I did in the beginning :) Times have changed so much since we started homeschooling and that adds to some of my reasons.  Here are a few I came up with as I was starting to write this post.

* I enjoy being with my kids even on the rough days. There have been many days that I wondered if we were doing the right thing, but it always came down to the fact that I just can't imagine them not being here every day.

* I like that I can decide what I want to teach and how I'll teach it. I teach math, reading/english, science and history and then decide based on each child what other items we will work through.

* When a child has any type of learning issues it is very easy for them to fall through the cracks.  Our youngest has had quite a few medical issues since birthday. I have had to change my way of teaching because there are issues with his learning that I hadn't dealt with before. I've realized that when you have a child that can't focus you have to figure out how to get him to focus.  When he forgets his abc's or his addition facts then there might need to be more review. Sometimes I've realized that we just have to stop some days because it's not working. I like that with homeschooling I can change things easier than they could be changed in the public schools.

* I like being able to use games for learning.  Games can be a wonderful learning tool. Now with the internet it's even easier to find free printables to help your child with their learning. My son has learned so much through games and he's never even realized it was learning (LOL)

* I like that when the kids were younger and my husband would be off sometimes that we could just take the day off as well. It was helpful because often my husband worked long hours and sometimes we really only saw him on Sunday.

* I also enjoy making my own schedule.  If we have a day of appointments then I can just count it as a non-school day. When we get snow I can let the kids play and do a half day and I still feel we are productive. If I don't want to take a holiday off then that's my choice. It's the flexibility to work nights if we need too, Saturday's, the summer, etc.

* Basically homeschooling is a lot about our choices.  I want to be able to have my kids read the Bible and study it as part of their school education. That wouldn't happen if they were in public school.  I want the choices to change programs during the year if I need too or give up a book completely. I like that my kids can go visit a family member or go vacation with a friend because I don't have to worry about whether the public school will ok the time off.  It's my plan, my schedule and my choices.  It's a huge responsibility too though. There are many sleepless nights stressing over whether my kids are learning what they need to know or not.  Are they behind their peers, will they be productive adults, etc?

* There are so many safety issues now in the public school that I might make that my #1 reason if I was starting all over again. I know that we can't control everything that will happen to our children or keep them safe every place they go in life. When they are young though I don't want them to ever fear that if they go off to school they might not come home again. I feel that has become common in society now. Parents are having to discuss with their children about school shootings and how to behave.

My reasons are probably pretty much the same as most parents.  I want my kids to have a good childhood, learn to love learning and be productive citizens as they grow up.  I'm thankful that I have been able to be at home with my children for all these years and homeschool them.  If I was a new mom today I'd make the same choice.  I might make different choices in the schooling process, but I'd make this journey all over again.

Week Ending 2/10/2018 Fun, STEM & Crafts

This year I wanted to be a little more intentional in doing fun things, experiments, crafts, etc with the kids.  Issac is still at the age where he's game to do anything even if it's a learning activity :) I've seen lots of activities that are for younger kids, but I still felt he would enjoy them, they would be quick to do and ultimately we'd have fun and learn something. This week we were able to do a few different activities. I think Issac enjoyed them equally, but when asked he said his favorite was the cloud dough. The cloud dough was super simple, it was equal parts of foam shaving cream and cornstarch.  We didn't start out with a large enough bowl, so ended up having to try and mix in two different bowls. That's wasn't best because one bowl seemed drier, so we finally found a large enough bowl to mix the two together. Issac made a video of us making this dough HERE on his YouTube channel. He makes funny videos and is always looking for new followers. He's up to 14 and super happy :) Before I could get pictures he decided to add baby oil to the dough and see what happened. It totally changed the texture and wasn't the fun cloud dough we made :) According to him he was experimenting and that's always fun :)

Another things we did this week was talk about how animals in the cold climates stay warm.  This was a super cute activity and really got the point across to Issac. All you need is a bowl, water, ice and some Crisco.  You first put your hand in the ice water for as long as you can stand it. After that we used a finger on the other hand and covered it with Crisco. He then put it back in the ice water and realized he could keep his finger in there much longer. We discussed how the fat the animals have help keep them warm. He asked since he was fat was that what kept him warm?? Oh Issac...... :)

We also did an experiment on whether you can sink marshmallows or not.  Issac enjoyed this, but then again any time he can sneak a few marshmallows he will :)  The last activity we did this week I learned about from my friend Roxanne over at Homework and Horseplay who does amazing STEM boxes each month.  All we needed to build an igloo was a disposable cup, icing and marshmallows. We did find out as we worked that our cups were super flimsy and made the job a little harder :) Issac and I enjoyed doing this project and again he was happy to eat marshmallows and like the icing off his fingers (LOL)

All in all I think we've done a few neat activities this week and made some good memories. I want my kids to have good memories of being at home and not few school as something bad or not fun. There is always something that needs to be done that maybe they don't want to be done, but there is also time for fun and laughter :) 

Things I believe before I started homeschooling...

I was reading a blog post at Mom.Wife.Homeschool Life about 8 Things she believed about homeschooling.  It got me thinking that most of us have an idea in our mind about what homeschooling is or how our days WILL go. The reality is we really have no clue until we get into it. My aunt and uncle homeschooled my cousin and that put that little thought way back in the back of my brain when our first child was born. I always did learning activities with him and games as he was little, but it wasn't until he was almost 5 that I realized I already planned to homeschool him, but really had never talked to my husband about it (LOL) We talked, he was for it and life went on. When I think back I realize I still struggle with some of these thoughts I had and they often still creep back.

#1
I thought by homeschooling that my kids would just pick up learning activities on their own or seek out activities that they might not get to do in public school. I imagined my children writing poetry or long stories, building things for hours, wanting to take things apart and LEARN how they work by putting them back together.  Our oldest did spend a few years where he built several things out of wood, but other than that when school time was up the kids were ready to be done with any type of learning.

#2
I thought all our children would LOVE reading for their entire lives and never have any struggles due to all the times I read to them.  Child number one struggled for a few years and to this day hates to read. I've worried and stressed over it for years. Wondering what else I could have done, will he suffer in life, etc. I had to realize one day that my husband isn't a reader. He's always said he reads the Bible and blueprints. Our oldest is VERY much like my husband and I just had to accept that he doesn't enjoy reading. Child number two seemed to learn to read almost on her own and has read more books than I can count. She's funny though because I realized early on that I couldn't pick out things for her to read because she had her own interests. She didn't LOVE the Little House Books like i had hoped, but even at 16 she still loves to read and for that I'm thankful. Child number three comes along and seems to be learning to read well and then things went downhill. It took us YEARS to get him to the point of not struggling to read. Guess what? He hates reading and tries to get out of it every chance he can. Yep, I think I have another child like the hubby :)

#3
I thought all of my kids would enjoy some type of musical instrument.  We tried the recorder at a young age because I remember having such fond memories. The kids liked it ok, but not really enough to want to learn lots of songs. Our oldest did guitar for a little bit and he enjoyed it. I think what he liked most about the teacher was he tried to teach him songs he had heard or knew and that made it interesting. When we moved out of state my son wasn't really interested in trying to find a new teacher. Our daughter wanted to do violin and I was so excited. Someone I've always thought the really smart kids play violin (LOL) She was actually very good at it, but decided she didn't want to do it anymore and eventually we stopped. Child number three hasn't done any instruments at all yet and I'm not sure he will.

#4
I thought my kids would love spending time with each other and not really want to reach out to others so much. I imagined them playing together nicely all the time, doing activities and projects, etc.  The two oldest children are almost three years apart. They got along well until they reached about the ages of 7 and 10.  Then the oldest didn't seem to want to be playing with his sister anymore. The youngest is 6 years younger than the middle and it's always seemed to much. There is too much of a gap between him and the other two for them to really have enjoyed playing too much together. They all go through spurts of how they want to be around each other, but there is a TON more fighting than I ever imagined :)

#5
I thought the house would always be clean because everyone would do their chores without being told, arguing about not wanting to do them, etc. I'm not sure that has happened a day in any of their lives (LOL) Someone is always trying to get out of a chore, put it off on another child, etc.

#6
I thought my husband and I would have these wonderful talks every night about how the day had been. He'd be super involved in finding out what the kids did and were wanting to do. Nope, my husband has worked long hours our entire marriage. I'm not sure why I thought that would change as children came along. My husband is also not much of a talker, so those conversations I saw happening daily happen every once in a while. Long discussions about curriculum don't happen. He says I'm the teacher and should choose what I like. 

#7
I thought any curriculum I liked the kids would like. Not sure why I thought that when my children don't like everything I like (LOL) Many things that worked with the oldest didn't work with the others. I've found that the boys did well with certain programs and maybe it didn't fit my daughter. Not saying that's how it always happens, but that's what I tended to notice.

#8
When I learned that here in NC your children can attend community college in 11th grade and the tuition would be waived I was super excited. There are CLEP tests that can be taken for college credit and I just thought that was amazing. The oldest child had NOT a care in the world about any of that. He wanted to get through his daily work as quickly as possible and work. I finally convinced him his senior year to take a few classes. I was super worried because this is the kid that hates to read, but he figured it all out. He realized it was on him and knew what he needed to do to be successful.  Our middle child really has no interest either, but I'm holding out that she'll change her mind :) Our youngest is only 10, but according to him he's going in the 11th grade and already has everything mapped out to complete his future plans.

#9
I thought with homeschooling that my kids would want to jump in and help me with everything I did. That they'd want to constantly do things together. That happened when they were younger, but as they got older they spent more time in their room, with friends, etc. Apparently I thought they'd magically always want me around :)

I'm sure there are plenty more things I thought and aren't reality, but this is just a few that came to mind :)

It's hard staying connected with kids!

If you had told me when I had my first child that I wouldn't feel connected to them as they age or that it would have been hard I would have thought you were nuts. I've really realized in the last few years that it takes a LOT of work to stay truly connected to your children. I think when they are young it is so much easier and therefore I never really thought about it being harder as they age.

I noticed with our oldest that once he got a job that I noticed that disconnect.  He was always on the go and we talked, but we weren't digging deep in the conversations.  Those were the time it seemed we should have been pushing more to have those deep conversations.  Then the girlfriend came and now it's hard to believe, but at almost 19 he's living on his own. We see him, but it's run in or stopping by work. Those aren't times for deep conversation. As much as I love and hate our growing dependence on cell phones it does help when you have a child that no longer lives at home. It can be a lengthy text conversation or just saying hey, I'm proud of you and love you!

Before we ever had our first child I had in my mind that I wanted a boy, a girl and then another boy.  I got my girl and I was in heaven the day she was born.  The last few years I've realized that being close with a daughter is different than a son.  I find that I have trouble not being critical with my daughter over things that I never did or wouldn't do now. I sadly think I always figured she'd be just like me and when she isn't I have to remind myself that is totally OK :) She's not me, she's my daughter, and times are not like when I was her age. I'm trying to really watch what I say that might be critical or construed as critical. Sadly, it's much harder than I'd like to admit. I have to learn what is important to her and make that important to ME!

Our youngest is easier to connect with because he's just 10. I think when you are that age just spending time watching tv, reading a book, making slime or playing a game is everything to them. I realize I've made mistakes with the older two that I'm trying to fix. I know there were times they were talking and I wasn't really listening. That makes me sad when I realize how little time they will be living with me at this point. They are all at different points in their lives and I just have to love them and make the effort to stay connected with them.

Here's a picture of Issac making slime :) Like I said, sometimes it's the simplest things that can help you connect with your child :)

Intensive Home Therapy Update 1/12/18

It's been about six weeks now since we started intensive home therapy for Issac. When they say intensive they are certainly correct. Up until Christmas someone was here Monday-Friday for almost 2 hours a day! It's been very hard to adjust our work and schedule. We've got school to the minimum for Issac because I didn't see any other option.  They have just recently bumped him to four days a week. As he continue to do well they'll drop it down until it's one day a week. Then he'll be turned back over to a regular counselor and will continue with them for a bit. I honestly feel this is the hardest and best thing we've done. I do seem small changes in him. We were having multiple issues a day and often times they'd go for hours. Up until last week we'd had several days with only one issue per day and a few days with NO issues! Such an answer to prayer. We started school back this week and all I can say is it's like we've never even started this therapy. He had a horrible day Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and a little bit today. Thankful each of those days other than yesterday one of his counselors came and were able to talk with him and try to work through some of the issues. I almost called them yesterday to see if they'd come out or even talk to him on the phone, but he ultimately fell asleep (LOL) I think the three weeks off school was too much or he's struggling with my aunt's death even though he doesn't really even seem to understand it. I'm not sure what's going on, but this afternoon was better and I'm thankful for that! They've been working with him on coping skills and I've seen him use them a few times, but this week he refused. He ranted about how the dr's didn't know what they were doing, he wasn't using stupid coping skills, etc.  I don't feel therapy has failed I just think this shows how life can be like a roller coaster. Sometimes a bad week happens.

We've learned so far that he tends to jump to the negative for almost everything. Those negative thoughts then get his mind going and he gets angry. One of his counselors has been working with him quite a bit on how to change the negative thoughts into more positive ones. One of the other counselors taught him some things he could do with his body to help him realize when he's getting calm. They made stress balls-playdough inside balloons and I've seen him use those a few times. All in all I think he's made some good progress for the time he's been in it. They say it's usually a minimum of six months and can continue more if needed.

Starting the New Year off Right

What does that statement mean to you? If I'm honest I'm not always sure what it means to me (LOL) For many years I did the New Year's Resolutions, but they usually fell away shortly. I know in the last few years many have taken to adopting verses for the year of even a word for the year. Those just don't seem to fit me for some reason. Not sure why I can't follow the crowd..... Last year I took the holidays as a time to simply regroup. I spent my vacation going through my closet and dressers giving away those items that I knew deep down I just didn't want/need anymore.  We purchased on a house recently that needs quite a bit of work, but I figured even more this year I wanted to go through the closets.

As it always seems to happen what I plan doesn't always turn out.  My Aunt Mary Lou had been very for almost three years. These last few months she just got sicker and sicker and we all knew our time with her was limited.  I had planned to drive home on Wednesday to be with my mom and hopefully get one last visit with my aunt. She went into a coma on Christmas Eve morning and ultimately passed away very late in the evening the day after Christmas. I left Wednesday morning and was so thankful I did. This was a very hard time for our family, but it hit my mom in a way that I think no other loss has. My mom and my aunt both were very strong women. I honestly can't remember seeing either of them cry in my entire life. Not when they buried their mother, went through divorces and tough times or just when having a rough day. My mom is the oldest and was expected from a very young age to watch over the other children. My aunt had a bone disease as well, so my mom felt doubly responsible.  They bickered, spent birthday's together and truly were best friends as well as sisters.  I'm very thankful I had that time with my family. Nothing was on my mind other than helping order flowers, be there for the family and just remember the good times with my aunt.  My husband and kids arrived on Saturday and we had the wake Saturday evening. Sunday we spend the day at my mom's house and pretty much the entire family showed up. I baked brownies, my mom baked cookies and a dear friend of my mom's dropped off two platters of food. We laughed, we were loud, we ate, etc. It truly reminded me of all the holidays I spent as a child with my family. I've missed that living so far away for many years.

We arrived home on Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning I woke with a headache. I often ask myself if this house gives me those headaches (LOL) I was so exhausted that I pretty much stayed in bed all day Wednesday and slept off and on during the day. Wednesday evening snow started and we were blessed to have 5"s of snow on the ground. I love the snow and it's such a beautiful sight seeing the ground covered with it. Issac spent hours outside playing by himself as well as with the neighbor from down the street. In the back of my mind I could hear the nagging that the school schedule said to start school back on Tuesday.  Last night I debated as Issac asked me if we were doing school today. Part of me felt the immediate need to say yes, we are already behind. The other part of me thought of my Aunt Mary Lou who was always laughing and had so much joy in her life. I decided to take today off as well and over the next few days to rethink the rest of my year. I have everything planned out, but Issac has started complaining there is no fun. I think I'll ask him to help me make a list of what he'd like to do and we'll try to work on that list. I've also decided this year that WE ARE going to start doing things that are on our Pinterest boards (LOL) I have so much pinned and it's all wonderful, but we just never do it. I've decided that will change this year and we will start trying more things that I've saved. What's the point in saving them if we aren't going to try them? Feel free to follow my BOARDS and I can't wait to see if we try any of the same things :)

That's pretty much my ramblings for the New Year! :) No real resolutions, no word or verse. I'm going to try and bring more JOY to our homeschooling year as well as love on my kids more.  I've felt a renewed closeness to my family through my aunts passing. She'll always be close to my heart and I'm thankful for all the years that I've had with her. I'm going to try and channel her fun spirit this year :)

Happy New Year!!