Word for 2020

Most people I know have stepped away from resolutions in the new year and have leaned more towards a verse or word of the year. I haven't tried that because honestly nothing seemed to be fitting my life at this time. This year as all the posts were arriving about the word for 2020 I actually had two words pop into my head. Faith was the first and family was the second. I thought about them and what great words they were, but wondered if they were really meant to be for me? Was I just thinking those words because so many others were writing about their words. I decided not to jump into those words, but rather think and pray about were they really meant for me.  

Days went by and those same two words kept coming to mind. I kept thinking to myself that I was suppose to just have ONE word, so why were TWO coming to mind? (LOL) Decided to ponder some more and put off the post. I mean I didn't want to write a post about these two words if it wasn't meant to be for me.  Each day that passed I thought about how much faith and family mean to me as well as so many others.  My faith is something I have struggled with over the years and felt I just didn't put enough time into developing it. My husband and I have dealt with so many issues in our marriage and most especially in just the last few years. My husband's health has suffered from two different accidents and more often than not it's like being married to a different person. I've dealt with some person issues myself that have really made me struggle over friendships, what's right/wrong, when to step back etc. All these things are leading me back to the word faith and telling me that I know what I must truly depend on and that is God.  

Of course I've always loved my family, but as of December I realized I have TWO ADULT children!! I keep wondering when and how that happened? (LOL) I think family came to mind because once your children get older you are still their parents, but in different ways. I have to figure out how to show my love to my soon to be 21 year old son, his wife and their two sons when they are thousands of miles away. I never imagined being a grandmother from half-way across the country. I look back now at all the years my own mother worked hard to remain so close to our children when we lived so far away. It's a new time in my life to be a grandmother and mom to adult children. Our middle child graduates and then I'll only have ONE child to homeschool. Do you know how long it's been since I've homeschooled just one child? In some ways I never had because when we started homeschooling our oldest the middle was just a few years behind him. This too is a new season in my life. 

So, for 2020 I'll be learning about my family in new and different ways. Trying to comprehend not seeing my grandsons as much as I want and having another child graduate and start on the next stage of their life. As for my faith I'll keep working on myself and growing that stronger and stronger each day.